Ever wondered why some people seem to move through life making all the right choices, and others seem to lurch from one bad decision to another. I like to think of it like this. Life is like a river ride. Some people have nice wide-open rivers, with slow running water, they can see ahead, they can plan, and they have room and time to manoeuvre around any obstacles. Meanwhile some people are on the rapids, they have fast water and lots of obstacles that come at them quickly, which takes away their ability to plan and prepare and they end up using instincts and reactions to navigate their lives rather than being able to pursue a plan they may have. So, what causes this difference in terrain? Well, lots of things. Those boulders are traumas. They are neglectful parents, or abusive grandparents. The rocks are bullies from your childhood or workplaces. Maybe some of those overhanging trees are unhealed bereavement, controlling relationships, addiction, deficits in your childhood development. Perhaps your riverbanks are narrowed because you had a parent with a depression, or you felt abandoned. The list goes on. So how do you get to the calm water? You work on those traumas until those boulders are pebbles. You smash those rocks by talking, and you dig back those riverbanks with acceptance and eventually forgiveness. Life will always send you an occasional landslide or waterfall but if you’ve created a calmer river, you’ll have the energy for the unexpected rather than being exhausted by your daily battle to stay afloat.